shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
