The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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