Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
