but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
