turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
