Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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