Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
