Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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