you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a search helicopter?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
