everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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