too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
