You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize