My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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