Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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