Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
