Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
