Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
