you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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