just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
