please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
