At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
