I must be too annoying 4 u.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
