You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
