im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
