You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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