he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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