He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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