Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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