I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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