I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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