so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
