I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
