the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
