Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
