there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
