Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I know her cup size but not her name....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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