I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
