I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
