Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
