ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
