Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
