Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
