we have officially lost it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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