So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Shame is for Republicans.
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