So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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