How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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