I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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