you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
