i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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