his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
