I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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