that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
