Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Drunk is not a location!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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