Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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