I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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