I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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