Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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