its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize