ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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