i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
