NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
